i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
