this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
