that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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