And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
