Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
