I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
