so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
