There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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