remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
