Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The power of my boobs compel you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
