i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
