its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
