He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
