You just made me feel so damn special
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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