hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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