I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
