i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
