I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
