On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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