i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need a burrito and a hug.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
