Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
