Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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