There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
