im holly from the hills drunk
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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