Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
