the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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