Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
