I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
