so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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