A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
