Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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