hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's blow job season.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
