its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
