Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
