So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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