It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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