I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
