so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
