I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
