I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
