so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
