she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
