Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
