she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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