you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
