i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
