I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
