White coat. Heels.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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