I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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