matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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